My "Almost" Domestic Violence Story

Updated: Aug 31, 2020

We left his friend's game night pretty late that night. As we rode in the car, silently, he drove down the interstate back to his place. I begin to text a friend because now the COMFORT of being around him has left me once again. It was fun and giggles at the game night but the reality began to set in. The REALITY was I had traveled miles to connect with someone that I was in a relationship with, but they were not in a relationship with me. All the plans we made for that week were ruin because he decided when I got there he did not want to follow through. Quite frankly, I was more than READY TO GET BACK to the comforts of my own home.


His vibe was completely off for the few days I had been there visiting him. It was no plans, no surprises, and the only affection that happened was on my part. When he attempted to come on to me one morning, I REJECTED HIM INTENTIONALLY. I was ready for this TRIP that turned into a NIGHTMARE to end. As we arrived at his place, I prepared myself for bed. In hopes he would join me or maybe want to have small conversation, he sits in the living area and TALKS SECRETLY on his phone. ENOUGH WAS ENOUGH! I was tired of WALKING ON FUCKING EGGSHELLS for him. Neglecting my own feelings to CATER to his emotions and feelings. Due to the intake of the alcohol at the game night, my aggressive side came out. By this point, I was fed up and tired of being nice.


I walked into the room and said “REALLY!” He said “WHAT!” I asked him, “Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME!” as I walked off and out of anger kicked the boxes that were in my way. “OH SO YOU KICKING SHIT,” he says as he follows after me in anger as well.


The argument goes on for about 10-15 minutes. Both of us yelling at one another and going toe to toe. He begins to text and call his friends like he needed back up for LITTLE OLE ME. He instructs me to call my cousin who lives in the area at this time. I decided to NOT call my cousin because he had a lot to lose. We all had a lot to lose, but the ONLY person that seem to CARE about that was me. At the time we were in the military and had security clearances. No way, I was going to allow a BRAWL to go down. My cousin would have FUCKED HIM UP with no doubt in my mind.


Instead of making this situation worst, I decide to sit on his bed with my legs cross Indian style because I realize I was seeing a side of him that I had never SEEN or HEARD before. As I am sitting calming myself down, he is still yelling and pacing back and forth. He PUNCHES A HOLE IN THE WALL. I begin to wonder, what did I do to make HIM SO ANGRY? He begins to SCREAM OUT all the women in his life never cared about him and all his life he was told he WASN’T SHIT. I LISTEN QUIETLY as he screamed out in anguish QUOTING bible scriptures and yelling how everyone leaves because God left Jesus.


Although I was in total disagreement with what he said I knew in that moment it was deep rooted issues WITHIN HIM. It was beyond me at this point. I REFUSE to argue anymore. I refuse to change his mind about how he felt. I vow to myself if I make it out of this situation in one piece, I would not talk to him again.


During the argument, my friend called me and I answered. We are in different time zones so of course she immediately thought something went wrong. She asks me “Is everything okay.” I reply “No. I called you so I will not go to jail.” In the midst of me talking to her, he is still being confrontational and screaming. He tells me since I want to go to jail to TAKE HIS GUN and shoot him with it. Of course I did not listen to him but I told my friend I would call her back when he left. I could tell he would be leaving soon. He eventually gets a friend on the phone and leaves the house.


I took the time while he was gone to call my friend back and recollect myself. I bet you all want to know what happen NEXT? He eventually came back about an hour or so later. He slept in the living area while I stayed tucked in his room until the next morning. The next morning we had a one-on-one conversation that we should have had before I came out there but this time without all the yelling and arguing. I expressed myself to him stating that if I knew he would treat me this way, I would have never come. I would have never put myself in such a compromising position. I believe he felt he did some real shit by letting me know then he did not want a relationship but to me, it should have happened long before I came.


I got on the flight home the next day and never looked back.

Till this day I have not spoken to this person nor did I have an interest of rekindling.


A month later I met my now husband that appreciates me just for the woman I am. I am living proof that it is sunshine right after the rain! No one (male or female) should ever tolerate any type of abuse rather it is physical, mental, emotional, or sexual. Respect is just the minimum and everyone deserves that.

The moral of the story is to never settle and never allow anyone to tell you that YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH BECAUSE YOU ARE!

Please feel free to comment, like, or direct message me about this story. I am open to conversation!

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